HuiLing.

Happy Birthday Shumin and weishun!!
yay. 20 le right! 2 开头了!
when it's my turn.. it means the end of sem2!

hmm. improvement today..din cry..
bt still feeling abit moody.
ytd surfed the net and went to search for lifesci job prospects.
and i ended up crying again.
from what i saw in the forums.
lifescience degree = useless paper.
hard to find jobs. and most pple end up at NIE.
heart sank. once again... i worry for my future...
yea. still long.. 3 years?
i know... bt when u are constantly remind abt the useless paper that u are working hard for.
suddenly i feel unmotivated again.
wonder if i had chose the correct path to life..
and not struggling now for suvival.

realli envy of pple who are graduating soon.
yunli, qixia, weixiong, gene, etc...
i know u guys have ur hard times too..
and also endured 3 years.. maybe enjoyed 3 years?
jux feel happy for u guys that u all are finally gg to be 'released'
congrats!
not like me gg to endure at least 5 or even 7 more semesters.

shld i jux let go of everything?
jux lan lan study my stuffs...and fail or pass jux dun bother...
can go clubbing, go shopping, go slp without any worries.
dun go and care what is gg to happen in the future.
jux make sure im happy now?
i dun wish to see myself sulking too!

went to collect my bags from the seller today.
shopped awhile at AMK hub.
in the boutiques, i looked at myself in the mirror..
and i felt like ive grown 5.549022790 years older.
dry and dark complexion, shagged look. was kinda ugly i guess.
mum said ive grown thinner...
unlike during the 1 mth holiday when i had no worries...
i know my family are worried abt me.
my mum will call me after 2hrs when im out from house.
to make sure i din go commit suicide or do any silly things i guess.
hahahahs.
feel kinda guilty towards them too.
i passed my sorrows and problems to them.
dad spent so much money to send me to university.
and what ive given him is a lousy CAP and cryings abt school..
though he told me that as long as i tried my best it's ok..
bt if din get good results at the end of 3rd or 4th year. i know he will be disappointed too.



hmm.
u are getting further and further from me.
hard to reach u when i need u..
haiz..........