my summary


rest

MOVED :)

irony i know.
bt i wish that school can start soon.
cux my holidays are so boring.
i dunno if i want to work so soon.
bt at the same time i have nthing to do...
wanted to go out.
bt always cant find accompany.
ok. i dun mind doing them alone.
bt sometimes doing with friends will be better.

burnt my pocket.
went face threading and signed a package $280
damn regret.
due to first timer.
my skin gt agitated by the threading.
and maybe due to my sensitive skin
my face now look like sesame.
with rashes like bumps.
it got better today..
bt still alot bumps.

independent!

hmm.
was trying to fill up the past 2 days with meaningful things.
seriously i dun want to waste any day
initially wanted to clear my room after 1 or 2 weeks.
bt due to boredom, i started clearing yesterday.
after clearing. my room looked messy still -.-
though i managed to fill up 2 red bags. hahas.

evening went to tutor the kid.
cux jasmine couldnt make it today.
still considered ok.
bt i missed my 红白喜事
have to wait for online upload.

wondering what im gg to do tml.
maybe go shopping
i want to do threading for my brows and upper lips too!
shall go and do it in these 2 days.

oh yea. and my hair.
wanted to trim it shorter and dye+highlight
bt dilemma leh.
cux when i cut my hair = rebond again
my hair is v interesting.
nv cut can last v long. nice nice.
once cut. the whole head like exploded.
if i dun cut.by the time school reopens i will have damn long hair.
bt again i dun want to spend money on rebonding!
since my hair now is ok.
not v frizzy. just long and abit no shape already.

i want to go beach suntan/relax/see shuaige
i want to go clubbing/pub (finding kakis!!!)
i want to work
i want to exercise
i want to go swimming
i want to learn some courses
i want retail therapy
i want meet up and tiangai with my friends
i want to 保养 my face
i want to wander outside
i want my everyday to be meaningful

-------------------------------------------

hmm.
feels envy to see friends in pairs.
bt at the same time
im happy with my single life now.
life is full of dilemmas isnt it.
LOL

yoz people!
exams are finally over.
i shant complain abt the papers and my performance.
enjoy the holidays!

first day of my long awaited holidays.
i stayed at home the whole day.
making accessories
and watching dramas online
finished watching <学警狙击>
very nice!
吴卓曦 is so handsome can..^^
bt sad that Laughing died. he was an undercover for 9 years!
bt overall the drama is nice.

yea lo.
these are the two things that i did.
dunno what im gg to do tml.
still in the mids of finding a job.
shall go swimming tml?
hahas.
feel free to ask me out people! Day/Night all okie! ahahs

feel like changing my blog.
maybe to wordpress or what.

my first paper-psychology was quite....no good, not bad
it would be better if i realli follow my instincts to answers them
and read the instruction page before i start to do the paper!!!
left abt 15 blanks for the MCQ sections. out of 100 questions -.-
due to my carelessness.
alrite. it's over already.
im not realli sad abt it.
jux feel that i could have done better.
and find myself v dumb.. sigh..

after psy paper, i felt like as though it was my last paper.
totally no motivation to revise my remaining FOUR modules.
everybody seem to be finishing their sem exams except me..
double sigh...

hmm. due to lack of planning
me pig and butt more or less decided to abort the overseas trip.
and change it to a chalet instead.
triple sigh...
dun get me wrong! im sighing not cux i dowan the chalet..
as long as i can see my frens. im happy ^^
bt i also wish that i could go overseas during the holiday!
my taiwan...
had been tinking abt it since mths ago..
hmm...shall wait for the guy's ORD.. then we go together k!

was reading jasmine's blog just now.
and i realise i gt a pending problem yet to be solved.
tutoring of the hyperactive boy!
hahahs.
jasmine dun worry, if u dowan to continue
i tink i can take over after my exams.
or tell the mum.
im also still considering whether to take up this assignment.
cux tutoring the boy is a pain...
and tinking abit it got me abit moody already.
but i have not gotten myself a job.
if no job.......then i tink i will take up this assignment.
for money sake. LOL.
if u are keen in long term tutoring.
can give me a call or tag. $17/hr

i aim to finish revising until end of plants today!
and tml animals.
then monday 9am exam.

woah.
long din update already...
cux busy mugging for exams..

i have approx 12 days to study for my 5 modules.
which actually i tink it's more than enuf..
bt nevertheless, i study everyday..
i will tend to study the modules repeatedly, which is realli....boring!
bt i dun want to waste the time u see...
hopefully all these efforts will pay off..

psychology is gg to kill me..
the contents are realli hard to memorise...
>500 pages to read and memorise.. ohmytianz.
even if i managed to memorise them in a day
the next day 50% will be forgotten..
content overload.

ive also been having insomnia for the past few days..
went to sleep at 0030
and until 0200 im still wide awake. =.=
although im like yawning and feeling tired.
feel that the internal energy in my body is decreasing..
arghh..
realli hope this exam period will pass quickly..
and i can have my long awaited holidays!
ive been thinking what i want to do during the holidays.
hopefully some meaningful stuffs
like learning dress making, knitting, make-up?
doing some voluntary work?
overseas!!!
and of cux finding a job...

hopefully i can find a job quick.
unlike last year.
after Alvls i rot at home for like.. 5-6mths?
not i dun want to.. bt i cant find a job..
hahas.

==============================

从前的那一份感觉似乎慢慢淡了。
或许暗示着一切将结束。
不后悔，不可惜。
放下了，继续往前走。

:))

another week has passed.
like so fast?
2 more weeks to endure before reading week!

Went Sakura for dinner last Friday.
with 11 other peepx.
qingyuan was like gorging down the food to make his money worth.
in the end he felt so bloated..lol
i would say the food are not that nice too.
the new oyster mee sua was quite disappointing.
it doesnt taste like oyster mee sua at all -.-
but still i enjoyed the dinner!
with all the jokes and laughing... hahas!

initally wanted to go swimming.
bt it was called off last min.
and after Friday, the weather was like not so good.
raining and raining.
next week bah! Jurong SC yea?

There is a LSM1104 CA2 test on Tuesday.
feel kinda nervous. more or less revised my work already.
50 MCQ in 50 min..
and i gt a hunch that the lecturer's questions are not v straight forward.
but nevertheless, i tink he is really a good lecturer :))
really good if i can have this kind of lecturers every semester. hahas

i dunno y
since yesterday, my gastric area has been feeling uncomfortable.
feel pain when i breathe deeply.
i dun tink it is gastric. bt i dunno wad cause the pain either.
the feeling was quite irritating.
cux i cnt breathe deeply..
got to like control my breathing so that i wont feel the pain =.=
anyone knows what problem this is?

oh yea.
we were chatting that day and i got to know that many teachers gt married.
and even have kids!
Mr Lee and Ms Loh
Mr Burton Row and Ms Nah
Ms Low Peiyun
Ms Cherry Chan
and even Mr Deroza?
all have kids already.
I saw Mr Lee's facebook.
their daughter is so cute!

really happy for them =)
and i realised that many years have passed.
since Secondary 1...
it would be like more than 7 years already?
in another 7 years. i tink it will be our turn.. hahas!

Im so bored now.
feel like taking a break from my revisions..
damn 'gastric'

ewww. another week has passed.
which means im a week nearer to end of my exams..
and tadang! my holidays =)

this week has been considered slack..
NO
Tuesday's psychology tutorial
Thursday's morning Chinese tutorial
and Fridays Bio Lab!
But still, i used most of the time studying.
although i realised i start to slack abit..
like using comp to facebook and watch Korean drama. =X
nevertheless, i managed to complete the revisions i aimed to complete this week.
bt i dunno if they are nailed into my head. LOL
Hopefully!

Next week will be the "Sianned week"
Having Tuesday psychology tutorial and Thursday's Chinese Tutorial at 8am!
Luckily there's Good Friday.. no need go sch on friday =)
Chinese tutorial killed alot of my brain cells.
The questions are not difficult, bt i dunno how to do =X
damn vexed about it..
luckily i still have until thursday to complete it..

Im damn bored at home..
not bored with nthing to do.. bt bored with studying..
study study study.
and there seemed to be nothing else im interested in doing other than studying.
i dun mean im interested in studying.. bt im forced to.. LOL

alrite. i shall go for a run later in the evening.

Moday tml..
10am-8pm.. Boooo...

wah piang.
feeling damn moody now..
i dunno how to tell myself to relax man..

had dinner with eugene, yl, qx and ks ytd.
wanted to join them for post dinner activity.
bt i was too bothered and weigh down by my revisions and work..
so i went home after dinner.
seriously no mood to do anything besides studying.
Sorry.

working is piling.
revision is never ending.
u cleared this week.. next week is grinning at you already..
and i feel damn moody when i tink of the 'next week'.
psychology is taking up alot of my time.
spent almost 2 days in duration to read 2 of the chapers=80+ pages of textbook.
excluding the time use to remember them k...
i see my textbooks i feel damn sian.

i wan to take a break.
bt once i stop. i feel guilty. i feel like im wasting my time away
while others are busy studying.
hahas. u must have find me v over rite.
even this also wan to compare. bt yea. i cant help it.
=(

i dunno what i shld do.....

feels lonely.

Happy Birthday!

To my Brother!

and Jinghan!

:))

4 more weeks.
and 15 more school days..
sounds fast.. bt i tink it's still hell for the next 4 weeks.
im realli looking forward to holidays!

*shake head*
studying is like never ending..
every week has new stuffs to learn and memorise.
especially psychology! damn content heavy..
i spent the whole afternoon--- like 3-6 reading 20+ pages of the textbook.
and each chapter gt abt 40 pages.
and there are 14 chapters in the whole textbook if im not wrong..
sighs.

even if im not gg sch today..
it feels like im attending lecture/tutorial at home =.=
seriously sianned..
my uni fren asked my y me msn nick are all so emo..
hahahs.
i jux told him.. 'cux im an emo freak'
i dunno how to answer this question seriously..
school and life just make me v sad and emo everyday..

Wx's bd celebration has been postponed. date to to confirmed
means my Sat will be used for studying again! hahas.
i dunno y..
im getting more tired easily nowadays.
for the past 5-7 weeks.
i slept 7-8 hrs a day and feel v energised when i wake up..
now im like zombie even when i sleep for 8 hrs..
efficiency declining.. Aduahi! (malay word for 'oh my')
LOL.

prays that everything goes smoothly.

i miss many thingsss...
many many.

hello everyone.

shall blog awhile before i go back to study.
gotten back my psychology results ytd.
glad that my hardwork paid off :)
bt i wasnt feeling tooooooo happy either.
though u said that i should be!
im juz..relieved and glad bah.
mayb i was afraid that this sense of 'happiness' or achievement will soon be gone.
afraid that when u gain something now, u will lose something soon.
so i rather not feel so happy now than to feel miserable when i lose it later.

when one has faced too much 'failures'
and finally gotten some small achievement one fine day..
u will tend to doubt if that's what u deserved.
whether that's realli what u have exchanged purely with ur hardwork.
not purely luck or pity from god and angels.
i tot my confidence would be back after getting a decent result.
bt weird, it doesnt realli boost much of my confidence.
jux feel that i should not feel complacent, and keep up with the revision to get good results for finals.

hahha. am i making things too complicated?
or like what you've said, just be purely happy that u did well.

juz doesnt feel confident enough.

oh yea. malay skit rehearsal wasnt v smooth.
got to rehearse more bah...
hate doing projects and performance!

hmm..
i realised some people are really... i don't know..
they have too high expectations until i find it v scary bah.

i made this new guy fren from my course.
he and his bro are twins and they are in the same course.
we were chatting on fb ytd regarding results..
so i told him i am v stressful abt school and results cux i din do very well.
at the same time he said he din do v well too..
so we were like complaining abt pressures and how school sucks.
and i was like..ok..... at least someone is in the same plight as me...

BUT... after quite a long tok.
i asked him how much did he actually got..
he said he got... 4.3/5
he was unhappy becux he expected higher and his bro got 4.7....
immediately i gave a diaoz face in front of the comp screen.
my first thought was wtf.. tok so long and now u tell me 4.3 u not happy.
totally sianned.
im not saying he cant be unhappy abt his results la..
bt 4.3 u tell me is bad i couldnt accept it...
i dunno.. u can say i petty or wad..
bt i jux couldnt take this kind of things la..

for me..
i just hope i can graduate with a second class honours..
i dun aim for first class.. i dun aim for masters.
i just hope to get a decent and safe cert for future.
bt it seems so hard.
and yet other pple who got it are not happy...
everything boils down to expectations i guess....

i realli need to learn to be satisfied...
bt not to the extend that even if i fail my exams im still indifferent those kind.
just dun expect too high or too much...


==========================

hmm. schoolwork.
sad to say.. i have a malay skit presentation on next next monday.
i realli hate to do presentations and skit la...
super marks puller for pple like me
to me.. the script we wrote were not v good.
messy.. and short...
the skit by right shld bt 10 min.. bt until now.. it's only 5 min?
and everyone seemed to be not anxious abt it except me..
haven even rehearse... haven even finalise.
i realli hate this kind of feeling... to leave things hanging there and chiong to finish it during the last minute.

and im starting to feel tired easily.
and slacky....
also experienced proactive and retroactive interference..
which means old info prevents the learning of new info.
and new info which prevents the retrieving of old info from the brain.
this is one of the 7 sins of memory..Transience.
those who studied psychology will know...
and when i know im starting to be less efficient in learning and remembering.
i start to feel scared and insecure..
and im v afraid that that emo me will be back...

6 more weeks to end of exams..
to leaving hell temporary..
faster faster... 6 weeks is like... so long..
sad.

hahas
shall blog abit before i start my mugging.
feel not so motivated after all the CAs are over.
maybe cux im tired bah...
bt i want to maintain that level of motivation..

i dunno what to say abt the psychology test on Monday.
i tink i did ok? wasnt very satisfied with my performance though.
bt at the same i tikamed and tried my luck for quite a number of questions.
so due to the negative marking..
i dunno what final mark i can get.

was chatting with Pow on msn jux now.
was talking to her abt my motivation decline.. and my thought about results.
amazingly.. she used principles of economics to explain some of the ideas.
and i was kinda enlightened by what she said.
indeed. different pple has different ability.
even if u put in the same amount of effort, or even more..
u might not surpass him or her.. cux of the innate ability, not aquired ability.
she quoted from our GP tutor (which i dun rmb):
"if everyone is equally smart den our meritocratic system will fail"
hahahs. quite true isnt it?

i wan to feel happier.

sometimes it would be good to shut off ursef from the world.
dun bother about what others are doing
dun compare ur progress with them..
jux minding ur own business.
easy to speak.. bt i find it so hard to attain..

i tot i was already v hardworking..
bt now i realised it's considered normal.
the new lsm1104 lecturer was a good lecturer..
i like him very much
he focus more abt real learning rather than knowing and memorising ^^
and from the Q and A file he sent to us..
i was v surprised that in few days..
he compiled 11 pages worth of questions from students..
so i guess it shows how hardworking students are in my course.

these few days have been studying for my psychology test on moday.
100 MCQ in 1hr. plus negative marking.
though i feel like i have mastered most of the content
i have a hunch that my results will be the same again.
im jux inconfident of myself la.
maybe my ability is just that limited. never be able to surpass others.
i feel tired again.
and i guess im falling sick soon.
headache is more frequent that usual.
i realli look forward to MAY.
when i can realli let my hairs down for quite awhile to recharge and relax.

==================================

was initially v happy to be able to dinner with u ytd.
bt i guess in the end i made the atmostphere and mood heavy again..
i dun know y i am acting or feeling like this...
maybe my emotions and mind are entangled badly.
i feel like a retard or crazy woman.
to have such weird and loser feelings..
i know it made u feel upset. im sorry.

MOVE ON.
seriously i din tink about this until u told me.
i dunno if i shld.
put down everything.
and move on with my life.
or jux remain stagnant as it is now...
will there be a difference?

EWWW..
i dunno is it considered fast or slow.
1 week holiday/reading week just ended.. like this.

-went bai nian
-gathering with friends
-watched movies
-sent shaun and addison off
-studied (SLOGGED most of the days..)

felt that i did not enjoy my holidays enough.. or rather rest enough..
im like mugging all the time when im at home..
i feel tired.
i dunno if im making things too harsh and stressful for myself.
sometimes i realli dunno how to 'be gentle to self' - my counsellor told me to remember.

yea. that's all that i can tink of.
hmm. the day before i went practice driving with dad again..
again.. another round of scoldings...
i made a right turn without stepping on the brakes
i failed to keep within my lane
i made wide turns
i was not observant enough about the road conditions and traffic lights
hahas. maybe dad was right.
i passed because of luck.
alrite. slowly brush up the skills bah..
dad said next practice will try expressway....

v reluctant to go school la.i rather rot at home than to go school..
my one week holiday...
results for lsm 1104 was out...
i gt a B grade. highest grade was A-
i dunno if it is considered good or wad...
may too eager to succeed after the fall last sem..
i dun seem to be very happy when i saw 'B'
but at least im at the average.. 再接再厉 bah!

oh yea.
something v pissing.
i received my phone bill ytd
and to my horror.
3 days of GPRS cost 177 dollars! excluding my plan and call charges.
cux i canceled my GPRS 3 days after i bought my phone
so for that 3 days. the gprs was 177 dollars, near 35MB worth of data.
i called the cust svc to clarify about the bill.
and they are only willing to waive half the charges.
bt i find it v unreasonable.
cux the GPRS are activated sometimes even when we are using wireless.
i dun see the reason to pay for a service which im unconsciously using it.
eugene asked me to scold the staffs.
cux his frens did the same thing and his bill was waived fully.
bt im not good at arguing la..
i ended up getting threatened instead.
then i jux relented with the terms la.
bt i was v angry la. like pay 88 dollars for nthing.
the staffs are v rude also..
so i sent a feedback to singtel and complain.
if i dun get a reply im gg to spam them with many more complains.

==============================

i dunno if i shld use the last day studying.
or shld i use this day to relax and prepare myself for hell.
Oh yea. i actually planned to go clubbing during this week.
bt end up didnt go again..
shaun said wan bring me go Timbre.
in the end we also din go.. and he is back in Brunei liao..
haahsh.

I MUST GO CLUBBING ONE DAY.
PUB also can la..hahahas

YoZ!
Happy New Year everyone!

This year cny is damn sian.
had an argument with dad on eve.
and argument with sis on Chu1.
we only visited 2 places - grandma and great grandma's house
then the rest of the day is rot at home...
i prefer rotting at home la.

chu 2 had e2 gathering.
not alot of pple turned up. cux it's chu2
some of the pple got to bainian.
while the others are not free.
me and yl felt abit bad towards yongrui cux we din tell him that his brothers were not coming.
so i guess he was kinda sianned and bored.
hahahs.
But anw.. hope everyone enjoyed the lunch tgt!

after lunch we went shaun's house to gamble.
played blackjack.
and i lose like 4-5 dollars in total?
i admit i sucks at being banker =.=
then before going back we took group photos at the fitness corner tgt.
the photos are nice!

hahaha.
i din know today is tuesday already. thought was monday.
spent the whole day writing my 2 page Psychology term paper.
though it's only 2 page.. bt i realli cant squeeze out stuffs to write..
currently i still gt half more page to go...
still gt about 1 week to write..
and yeah.
psychology mid terms on 1st march.
it was postponed 1 week later.. was 22nd initially.
but still i hope to complete all my revision by the end of this week..
cux when sch reopen i still have school work to be busy with...
gonna start soon! if not i will not be able to finish.
the last 2 lectures were damn useless.
and i ponned the last lecture =.=
so until now i still dunno what the last lecture is about

i feel that im online more and more frequent.
got to have more self discipline..

take care everyone!

alrite.
mid terms finally ended.
for the time being.
then last one will be after CNY week...
i tink i did so so for my lsm1104 ytd.
its like 8 qns in 1 hr...
so everyone was like chionging.. including me.
and towards the end i jux crap and write..
cux no time already.
i hope the stuffs that i wrote were relevant =X
after reaching home, i told myself not to tink abt it le...
haiz.

im glad to see the positive comments that my fren left in facebook ^^
happy that u guys like it..
my effort paid off! haahs.
unlike school work...

arghh. 8am lesson tml.
first 8am lessons since school reopen.
good luck to myself -.-

school sucks.

bio test was kinda dumb.
too basic until i cant answer.. cux i forgot! =.=
went to memorise and study the details.
and end up forgetting the basic stuffs.
alrite. it's over.
abit upset.. bt im not gg to brood over it..

Fetch Shaun and Addison at the airport last Friday.
feel v happy to see them again!
had fun and laughter there
took photos and videos.. which are kinda lame and embarrassing. LOL
was kinda tired after tt dumb test.
though it was only 20 min.
seems like after test.. i always have prolonged headaches.
back home i bathe and slpt at 2am +
next morning woke up at 8+ again
to meet addison,ms,yl and eugene for breakfast.

by the time i reached home in the noon.
was damn sleepy.. almost KO state liao..
bt i still studied la.
cux of the coming tests on monday and tue...

hmm.
i feel like ive been slacking more and more.
i tink the momentum is gg downslope liao
maybe cux i chionged too much in the front.
and now im kinda run out of energy to mug.
haiz.
and the worse thing is my mid year test is tml and tue.
and i jux started now.
at the same time blogging
and doing videos
and watching tv.
bt not concentrating on my revision.