ewww. another week has passed.
which means im a week nearer to end of my exams..
and tadang! my holidays =)

this week has been considered slack..
NO
Tuesday's psychology tutorial
Thursday's morning Chinese tutorial
and Fridays Bio Lab!
But still, i used most of the time studying.
although i realised i start to slack abit..
like using comp to facebook and watch Korean drama. =X
nevertheless, i managed to complete the revisions i aimed to complete this week.
bt i dunno if they are nailed into my head. LOL
Hopefully!

Next week will be the "Sianned week"
Having Tuesday psychology tutorial and Thursday's Chinese Tutorial at 8am!
Luckily there's Good Friday.. no need go sch on friday =)
Chinese tutorial killed alot of my brain cells.
The questions are not difficult, bt i dunno how to do =X
damn vexed about it..
luckily i still have until thursday to complete it..

Im damn bored at home..
not bored with nthing to do.. bt bored with studying..
study study study.
and there seemed to be nothing else im interested in doing other than studying.
i dun mean im interested in studying.. bt im forced to.. LOL

alrite. i shall go for a run later in the evening.

Moday tml..
10am-8pm.. Boooo...

wah piang.
feeling damn moody now..
i dunno how to tell myself to relax man..

had dinner with eugene, yl, qx and ks ytd.
wanted to join them for post dinner activity.
bt i was too bothered and weigh down by my revisions and work..
so i went home after dinner.
seriously no mood to do anything besides studying.
Sorry.

working is piling.
revision is never ending.
u cleared this week.. next week is grinning at you already..
and i feel damn moody when i tink of the 'next week'.
psychology is taking up alot of my time.
spent almost 2 days in duration to read 2 of the chapers=80+ pages of textbook.
excluding the time use to remember them k...
i see my textbooks i feel damn sian.

i wan to take a break.
bt once i stop. i feel guilty. i feel like im wasting my time away
while others are busy studying.
hahas. u must have find me v over rite.
even this also wan to compare. bt yea. i cant help it.
=(

i dunno what i shld do.....

feels lonely.

Happy Birthday!

To my Brother!

and Jinghan!

:))

4 more weeks.
and 15 more school days..
sounds fast.. bt i tink it's still hell for the next 4 weeks.
im realli looking forward to holidays!

*shake head*
studying is like never ending..
every week has new stuffs to learn and memorise.
especially psychology! damn content heavy..
i spent the whole afternoon--- like 3-6 reading 20+ pages of the textbook.
and each chapter gt abt 40 pages.
and there are 14 chapters in the whole textbook if im not wrong..
sighs.

even if im not gg sch today..
it feels like im attending lecture/tutorial at home =.=
seriously sianned..
my uni fren asked my y me msn nick are all so emo..
hahahs.
i jux told him.. 'cux im an emo freak'
i dunno how to answer this question seriously..
school and life just make me v sad and emo everyday..

Wx's bd celebration has been postponed. date to to confirmed
means my Sat will be used for studying again! hahas.
i dunno y..
im getting more tired easily nowadays.
for the past 5-7 weeks.
i slept 7-8 hrs a day and feel v energised when i wake up..
now im like zombie even when i sleep for 8 hrs..
efficiency declining.. Aduahi! (malay word for 'oh my')
LOL.

prays that everything goes smoothly.

i miss many thingsss...
many many.

hello everyone.

shall blog awhile before i go back to study.
gotten back my psychology results ytd.
glad that my hardwork paid off :)
bt i wasnt feeling tooooooo happy either.
though u said that i should be!
im juz..relieved and glad bah.
mayb i was afraid that this sense of 'happiness' or achievement will soon be gone.
afraid that when u gain something now, u will lose something soon.
so i rather not feel so happy now than to feel miserable when i lose it later.

when one has faced too much 'failures'
and finally gotten some small achievement one fine day..
u will tend to doubt if that's what u deserved.
whether that's realli what u have exchanged purely with ur hardwork.
not purely luck or pity from god and angels.
i tot my confidence would be back after getting a decent result.
bt weird, it doesnt realli boost much of my confidence.
jux feel that i should not feel complacent, and keep up with the revision to get good results for finals.

hahha. am i making things too complicated?
or like what you've said, just be purely happy that u did well.

juz doesnt feel confident enough.

oh yea. malay skit rehearsal wasnt v smooth.
got to rehearse more bah...
hate doing projects and performance!

hmm..
i realised some people are really... i don't know..
they have too high expectations until i find it v scary bah.

i made this new guy fren from my course.
he and his bro are twins and they are in the same course.
we were chatting on fb ytd regarding results..
so i told him i am v stressful abt school and results cux i din do very well.
at the same time he said he din do v well too..
so we were like complaining abt pressures and how school sucks.
and i was like..ok..... at least someone is in the same plight as me...

BUT... after quite a long tok.
i asked him how much did he actually got..
he said he got... 4.3/5
he was unhappy becux he expected higher and his bro got 4.7....
immediately i gave a diaoz face in front of the comp screen.
my first thought was wtf.. tok so long and now u tell me 4.3 u not happy.
totally sianned.
im not saying he cant be unhappy abt his results la..
bt 4.3 u tell me is bad i couldnt accept it...
i dunno.. u can say i petty or wad..
bt i jux couldnt take this kind of things la..

for me..
i just hope i can graduate with a second class honours..
i dun aim for first class.. i dun aim for masters.
i just hope to get a decent and safe cert for future.
bt it seems so hard.
and yet other pple who got it are not happy...
everything boils down to expectations i guess....

i realli need to learn to be satisfied...
bt not to the extend that even if i fail my exams im still indifferent those kind.
just dun expect too high or too much...


==========================

hmm. schoolwork.
sad to say.. i have a malay skit presentation on next next monday.
i realli hate to do presentations and skit la...
super marks puller for pple like me
to me.. the script we wrote were not v good.
messy.. and short...
the skit by right shld bt 10 min.. bt until now.. it's only 5 min?
and everyone seemed to be not anxious abt it except me..
haven even rehearse... haven even finalise.
i realli hate this kind of feeling... to leave things hanging there and chiong to finish it during the last minute.

and im starting to feel tired easily.
and slacky....
also experienced proactive and retroactive interference..
which means old info prevents the learning of new info.
and new info which prevents the retrieving of old info from the brain.
this is one of the 7 sins of memory..Transience.
those who studied psychology will know...
and when i know im starting to be less efficient in learning and remembering.
i start to feel scared and insecure..
and im v afraid that that emo me will be back...

6 more weeks to end of exams..
to leaving hell temporary..
faster faster... 6 weeks is like... so long..
sad.

hahas
shall blog abit before i start my mugging.
feel not so motivated after all the CAs are over.
maybe cux im tired bah...
bt i want to maintain that level of motivation..

i dunno what to say abt the psychology test on Monday.
i tink i did ok? wasnt very satisfied with my performance though.
bt at the same i tikamed and tried my luck for quite a number of questions.
so due to the negative marking..
i dunno what final mark i can get.

was chatting with Pow on msn jux now.
was talking to her abt my motivation decline.. and my thought about results.
amazingly.. she used principles of economics to explain some of the ideas.
and i was kinda enlightened by what she said.
indeed. different pple has different ability.
even if u put in the same amount of effort, or even more..
u might not surpass him or her.. cux of the innate ability, not aquired ability.
she quoted from our GP tutor (which i dun rmb):
"if everyone is equally smart den our meritocratic system will fail"
hahahs. quite true isnt it?

i wan to feel happier.